TNG "The Next Generation"

Credit: www.evilmonk.org

TNG is an acronym used to refer to "The Next Generation" of kinksters which often encompasses sex positive practices and is most often inclusive of kinksters of ages 18-35 and their adult partners. TNG organizations often sponsor Munches, Play Parties and educational classes about BDSM practices.

Criticism

TNG events are most often criticized for ageism as they are exclusive to those under the age of 35, TNG maintains that the organization is not ageist and does not have any policies against members learning from, sharing, or playing with those over the maximum age limit and encourages users to do so as they decide to, but maintains that their events fill a specific and much needed niche that is shown by the great degree of success such groups seem to have and that TNG is designed to be a safe space for interactions that can be related to through shared age groups.

Source:  http://www.bdsmwiki.info/TNG

Read More

25 Facts About BDSM

25 Facts About BDSM That You Won’t Learn In “Fifty Shades Of Grey”

Credit: www.buzzfeed.com

1. First things first: Here’s what BDSM actually stands for:

BDSM includes bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism & masochism (S&M). The terms are lumped together that way because BDSM can be a lot of different things to different people with different preferences, BDSM writer and educator Clarisse Thorn, author of The S&M Feminist, tells BuzzFeed Life. Most of the time, a person’s interests fall into one or two of those categories, rather than all of them.

2. It doesn’t always involve sex, but it can.

Most people think BDSM is always tied to sex, and while it can be for some people, others draw a hard line between the two. “Both are bodily experiences that are very intense and sensual and cause a lot of very strong feelings in people who practice them, but they’re not the same thing,” says Thorn. The metaphor she uses for it: a massage. Sometimes a massage, however sensual it feels, is just a massage. For others, a rubdown pretty much always leads to sex. It’s kind of similar with BDSM; it’s a matter of personal and sexual preference.

3. There is nothing inherently wrong or damaged with people if they’re into it.

This is one of the most common and frustrating misconceptions about BDSM, says Thorn. BDSM isn’t something that emerges from abuse or domestic violence, and engaging in it does not mean that you enjoy abuse or abusing.

Instead, enjoying BDSM is just one facet of someone’s sexuality and lifestyle. “It’s just regular people who happen to get off that way,” sex expert Gloria Brame, Ph.D., author of Different Loving, tells BuzzFeed Life. “It’s your neighbors and your teachers and the people bagging your groceries. The biggest myth is that you need this special set of circumstances. It’s regular people who have a need for that to be their intimate dynamic.”

4. Know that you can always say no.

“A lot of people starting out think it’s ‘all or nothing,’ especially if you’ve only been with one partner,” says Thorn. For instance, you might think that because you enjoyed being submissive under certain circumstances, that means you must agree to a whole host of submissive or masochistic behaviors that you’re not necessarily into.

But that’s absolutely wrong. You can — and should — pick and choose which BDSM activities you are and are not interested in, says Thorn. And that can vary depending on the situation, the partner, or even the day. Just remember that consent is a requirement in BDSM, and it’s possible to consent to one thing while still objecting to another.

5. BDSMers are just as stable as people who prefer vanilla sex.

“In my experience, it’s easier for people to get into BDSM if they don’t have a history of abuse, people who are in a more stable place in their lives,” says Thorn. A 2008 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that people who had engaged in BDSM in the past year were no more likely to have been coerced into sexual activity and were no more likely to be unhappy or anxious than those who didn’t do BDSM. And actually, men who engaged in BDSM had lower scores of psychological distress than other men.

That said, BDSMers do not judge people who aren’t into it, explains Thorn. The term “vanilla” isn’t meant to be derogatory, just to refer to non-BDSM sexual acts or people who aren’t interested in kink.

6. Fifty Shades of Grey is considered very cringeworthy in the BDSM community.

If you ever find yourself at a BDSM meet-up or dungeon, don’t mention any shade of grey. While some people appreciate that the books spurred more interest in kink and may have made it less stigmatized, others take issue with the abusive, unhealthy relationship it portrays and the seriously unrealistic scenes. All in all, it is not an accurate representation of the BDSM community.

7. It’s not all whips and chains all the time — or ever, if that’s not your thing.

Sure, some S&M enthusiasts might have these in their arsenal, but it’s definitely not everyone’s cup of kink. “Some people go for what’s called ‘sensual dominance,’ which is where there might be some toys or play but no pain involved at all,” says Brame. “It’s more like one partner agrees to do everything the other person asks. BDSM doesn’t have to follow any pattern, and there is no one model for what a BDSM relationship can be.”

8. BDSM encounters are called “scenes.”

Again, since it isn’t always about intercourse, you wouldn’t necessarily say that you “had sex” or “hooked up” with someone after a BDSM experience. Instead, these are called scenes (like, you scened with someone or you had a scene).

“It’s an evolution from a time where, if you did S&M, you might only do it with a professional for an hour, or you might just see it performed at a BDSM club,” says Brame. “Now people have much more organic relationships, but they still call it a scene — the time when we bring out the toys or get into that headspace.”

9. There are dominants, submissives, tops, and bottoms.

So you’ve probably heard about dominants and submissives (if not, the dominant enjoys being in charge, while the submissive enjoys receiving orders). But BDSMers may also use the terms “tops” and “bottoms” to describe themselves. A top could refer to a dominant or a sadist (someone who enjoys inflicting pain), while a bottom could refer to a submissive or a masochist (someone who enjoys receiving pain). This allows you to have a blanket term for those who generally like being on either the giving or receiving end in a BDSM encounter. And there’s no rule that says you can’t be both dominant and submissive in different circumstances or with different partners.

10. It can be as simple or as technical as you want.

Maybe the thought of being tied up excites you, or you enjoy spanking or being spanked. Or maybe you’re more interested in leather masks and nipple clamps and hot wax. All of that (and obviously a lot more) is within the realm of BDSM. Basically, you can still be into kink without actually ever going to a dungeon.

11. Before you go past the VERY basics, do your research.

Using a blindfold or an ice cube or fuzzy handcuffs you got at a bachelorette party are all relatively harmless beginner behaviors if you’re into them. But before you play around with some of the trickier tools, you need to learn how to do so safely. Even a rope or a whip can be dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Hell, you can even mess up with your own hands (think: fisting): “[Some people] think they can clench a fist and stick it inside somebody,” says Brame. “That’s a good way to really injure someone and send them to the hospital.” (Instead, she suggests an “enormous amount of lubricant” and starting with two or three fingers, then slowly and carefully building up to the whole hand.)

12. Seriously, BDSM involves A LOT of reading and learning.

If you’re one of those people who throws away the directions and tries to build the bookshelf on intuition alone, BDSM is probably not for you. “I would say the vast majority of what we call BDSM education is how to maximize ecstasy and minimize risk,” says Brame. “How to do all the things you fantasized about doing and to do them safely.”

While there’s no one required reading list, there seem to be a few favorites that are often recommended to beginners, like SM 101 by Jay Wiseman, Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon, and The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton.

Classes, conferences, and meet-ups are also helpful for learning specific techniques, says Thorn. Another popular resource is FetLife.com, a Facebook-like network for the kink community, which can connect you with message boards, groups, and classes in your area.

13. It’s important to get your information from a variety of sources.

One mistake many people make when first experimenting with BDSM is relying on one person to show them the way. Even if they do have your best interest at heart (and they might not), it can be limiting to only have one perspective on something that is so multidimensional, says Thorn. Instead, seek out books, workshops, meet-ups, mentors, friends, message boards, and more to find a safe place to explore your interests.

“When you can’t talk about what’s happening and you can’t make sense of your experience with like-minded people, that’s way more dangerous than the variety of activities you might fantasize about,” says Thorn.

14. Safe words are definitely a thing.

It might sound cheesy, but it’s a well-established norm in BDSM. (And hey, your safe word could actually be “cheesy” if you want. You do you.) “Safe words are probably one of the most important norms that have spread across the community, even if people use them in different ways,” says Thorn. For instance, not everyone uses safe words all the time after a while, but it’s important to start out with them. They can essentially be anything you want, as long as it’s something that you wouldn’t normally say during sex. You can find more info about safe words here.

15. And at some public events, there are even safety monitors on duty.

“Dungeon monitors will kick out people who don’t look like they’re playing safely,” says Brame. This can be anything from ignoring safe words to using a whip incorrectly. Seriously, did we mention that safety is paramount here? In fact, the acronym SSC (safe, sane, consensual) is one of the most common pillars of the practice.

16. It’s not as spontaneous as Hollywood movies or porn make it out to be.

Getting swept up in the moment and accidentally stumbling into a millionaire’s red room (where you’ll have multiple orgasms) is probably not going to happen to you ever. But, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. “The sexual fantasy makes everything look so easy,” says Brame. “People who actually do this stuff are very cautious about it. It has to be the right place and right time and right equipment. And you have to know you can get the person out [of whatever bondage] if there’s an emergency. You have to feel you can trust the person.” So there’s a lot that goes into one scene, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less satisfying for those who enjoy it.

17. There’s also probably way more talking involved than there is with (most) vanilla sex.

Whenever people question the role of consent in BDSM, they should consider the enormous amount of communication that occurs before, during, and after the scenes. “We talk about it hugely before we ever do it,” says Brame. “We talk about what we want to do, what we’re going to do, what our fantasies are… that’s part of negotiating a good relationship as a BDSMer.”

18. There’s actually a pre-negotiation period, where the partners discuss what they like, what they don’t like, and what they absolutely will not tolerate.

Think of this as the primer before the scene. “It’s a way of discussing the experience ahead of time that can increase emotional security,” says Thorn. This can involve anything from scripts and checklists to a more informal discussion of what each person’s expectations are for the scene, what they want and don’t want, and any words or actions that are completely off-limits.

19. And then comes aftercare, the debriefing period that happens once the scene ends.

Since BDSM can be an incredibly intense and emotional experience for some, most experts strongly suggest this wrap-up step, where the partners can discuss the scene and any reactions they had to it. “People are extremely vulnerable during aftercare,” says Thorn. “It can be really weird to have a scene without it.” This can also be a strong bonding experience between the partners.

20. BDSMers can be monogamous, polyamorous, or whatever the hell they want.

Not everyone who’s interested in BDSM has multiple sexual or relationship partners. “It used to be a popular perception that we don’t form long-term relationships,” says Brame. “A lot of BDSMers are just monogamous people. A lot of people just want to do it with their partner or play with the big toys at clubs.”

21. There are so many different types of whips.

This is not a one-size-fits-all kink. There are light floggers, leather whips, whips with single tails, whips with multiple tails that are flat and wide, the list goes on, says Thorn. But because certain types can be harsher than others, you really need to learn how to use them properly (again, workshops are crucial). “People practicing with a single-tail whip will often start with a pillow or some distant small object, like a light switch,” she says.

22. And there are some places that you definitely don’t want to whip.

Like, um, the eyes, obviously. Or the kidney area. “The skin is thin there and you have vital organs under there. You can bruise your kidneys,” explains Brame.

23. If you want to bring it up in your current relationship, absolutely do it.

“There are plenty of stories out there of people who were too nervous to bring it up and then found out that their partner had the same fantasy,” says Thorn. If you’re nervous about it, ask if they’d be interested in checking out a particular book or workshop you heard about. Or just talk about it in the context of sexual fantasies by asking your partner if they’ve ever tried anything like BDSM or if they’ve ever wanted to. If you think about it, you’re only risking one awkward conversation, and the payoff can be huge if this is something you want in your life.

24. There is an immensely helpful list of kink-aware professionals so you can find a doctor or therapist who uniquely understands your lifestyle.

Maybe you’re worried that your gynecologist or your lawyer won’t be sensitive to your lifestyle or doesn’t allow you to feel comfortable talking about it. Check out the Kink Aware Professionals Directory from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom to find someone who will be more accepting.

25. Basically, it’s way different than most people expect.

Between stereotypes, porn, and Fifty Shades of Grey, there’s a lot of misconceptions about BDSM. Short of attending a workshop or visiting a dominatrix, the best way to learn more about it is to do some research. “Just like with regular sex, if you want to be good at it, you really have to learn about what’s going on when this stuff is happening,” says Brame.

By: Casey Gueren

Source: https://www.buzzfeed.com/caseygueren/ultimate-guide-to-bdsm?utm_term=.blBODZ1kO#.ykejmLqPj

Read More

Path of Service and Mastery

Path of Service and Mastery: Spiritual Dominance and Submission

Credit: www.pinterest.com

In this day and age, and especially in this country that I live in, there is a great deal of ambivalent and conflicted feeling about one human being serving another in a formal and negotiated submissive role. Most of us claim to hate the idea of having our right to do whatever we want trampled upon. We may complain about or even rebel against authority, perhaps even reflexively, simply because it's there. Most service jobs, from housemaid to waiter to social worker, are low-paid and socially devalued. Especially when it comes to personal service jobs, such as the aforementioned waiter or housemaid, we tend to assume that no one could actually enjoy such a job, and everyone in such jobs are merely biding their time until they can get "better" jobs. Those would be the ones where you are on the ordering side of the lunch counter, rather than being on the side where they cook the fries. Actually doing the order-taking is seen as degrading by definition. We encourage this attitude in every new generation, and then we wonder why they are surly to us from behind the counter, forget our ketchup, steal from our houses as they clean the floors, laugh at the idea of community service, and eventually grow up to hire desperate illegal immigrants to do the work that they found so belittling.

Attitudes toward service weren't always this way, historically. While there was plenty about medieval European society that was psychologically unhealthy, they did have a healthier and more practical ideal of service than we do. Service was not limited merely to a class of rich folk who never served others and a class of poor folk who were never served themselves. Since everyone lived as part of a hierarchy, everyone (except the very top and the very bottom) was expected to experience both serving and being served. If the Duke came to visit the earl, the earl or his son might serve the Duke supper with his own hands, to show him honor. The Duke himself might have served the King a week ago, and so on up and down the chain. Beyond this, there were clerics and monastics who -- ideally, anyway -- served God, often by serving the people, for spiritual reasons.

While a medieval hierarchy is impractical in today's modern and complicated social world, we modern Americans could certainly use some reeducation in the value of service, whether towards people who are paying you, people who have no money and need aid, or one specific person. To put oneself -- even temporarily -- in a selfless position for the sake of making others happier and more comfortable has always been a worthy goal. For it to be a spiritual goal, however, the rewards have to come not in the form of obligations and favors owed or returned by those you sacrifice for, but in the form of intangibles -- pleasure at making others happy, pride in doing a good job, and/or positive feelings from being part of a larger goal of making even a small part of the world easier rather than harder.

There are many places in society, past and present, where people have willingly given up certain of their rights in order to lead a simplified life of discipline and focused purpose. One of these is the military; another is monastic orders of all sorts, from abbeys to ashrams. In each of these cases, the entire lives of the individuals involved are heavily controlled, up to and including their sexuality, their clothing and hairstyles, the possessions that they are allowed to own, and their daily work. If no one was ever drawn to a path of willingly giving up certain freedoms in exchange for a greater reward in the end, no one would ever join these organizations.  (Read more >>)

by: Raven Kaldera

Source: http://www.paganbdsm.org/articles/power-exchange/spiritualds.html

Read More

Servitude

In BDSM, servitude refers to performing personal tasks for their dominant partner, as part of their submissive role in a BDSM relationship.

In domestic servitude roles, the submissive can receive pleasure and satisfaction from performing personal services for their dominant, such as serving as a butler, waitress, chauffeur, maid or houseboy.

In workplace BDSM, the submissive can somehow secretly contrive that a work colleague, of the same or opposite gender to the submissive, unwittingly finds themselves with imagined or real work-related disciplinary power and/or status over the submissive. The created dominant may never realise they are bringing secret pleasure and satisfaction to the submissive, in the giving of orders or else in rebuking the submissive for supposed performance failings at the workplace, such as "laziness".

The satisfaction of servitude are often combined with the pleasures of fetishes, the pleasures of humiliation, or both. A submissive may rub his or her dominant's feet because the sub enjoys providing the service, has a foot fetish, enjoys being "lower" than the dominant, or any combination. But some bottoms who enjoy servitude prefer to keep their enjoyment and pleasure secret from all others including person(s) they have created as their "dominant". There are those in the BDSM community who frown upon this practice, however, as surreptitiously putting someone in a dominant position violates the principle of consent.

In other situations, the submissive may also enjoy being collared and leashed, and in some aspects being treated like an animal. Leashes can also be attached to piercings. 

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Servitude_(BDSM) 

Read More

The Path of Pain

The Path of Pain: Spiritual BDSM

"Pain, when pushed and endured long enough, brings to the surface the uninhibited, raw soul of human beings. When two people can experience this together, it is like meeting on another plane." –FifthAngel

Kink. Sadomasochism. Bondage. Dominance and submission. In mainstream society, these things are often associated with a kind of wink-wink nudge-nudge secret sexuality, uncharted territory that surely lies just beyond the fuzzy pink handcuffs and nurses'-uniform lingerie. Within the world of spiritual BDSM practitioners, however, these activities are far from a novelty.

My initiation to "the scene" happened, as so many initiations do, at a time of crisis. I had fashioned a sedate, secure life for myself in the town where I was born. I had a good job, a spacious apartment, a reasonable social life and good standing in the town's close-knit, conservative community. At the same time, I nurtured a burgeoning literary career initially built on BDSM erotica (Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism), was involved in a polyamorous arrangement involving five people spread over three states, and had come to feel that no religion or belief system described my personal sense of how the world was ordered. The disconnect between who I was and who I had to be to remain comfortable in my community was enormous, and the strain had become unbearable. The most logical way out involved moving to a more openminded city, but that felt like a pipe dream, something I could accomplish in three or four years at best.

Suffering a constant, low-grade frustration with my life, I signed up to attend the closest reputable BDSM event available — 250 miles away. The event promised hands-on workshops by day and "play parties" providing opportunities for practice by night. I kept my expectations low. I had never been terribly outgoing, and assumed that I could easily don my voyeuristic writer persona and observe from a safe distance.

Within hours, I lay stripped to the waist, blindfolded and bound elaborately by rope. My newfound partner experimented with flat-knuckled punches to my chest, carefully creating maximum sensation with minimum harm. Patiently, my partner led me through the nerves and social barriers that could prevent a full experience. "Let out sound," she told me. When I barely managed a squeak, she elaborated. "Open your mouth. Now make a noise with your mouth open." Punch. I made a noise, felt the energy of the punch travel through my body and exit on my breath. I had the sense that she smiled.

The theft of my eyesight turned my awareness inward, and every thudding blow seemed to scatter my cognitive functions further and further until ordinary thought stopped altogether. Unable to move, unable to see, capable only of assimilating the dull thud of the strikes, I touched on a very pure and unfiltered awareness, something accessible only when enough layers had been pulled away to uncover it. For the first time, I had a sense of truly being myself — no brainspace for taking notes for future stories or distancing myself from my own experience in any way. My standard methods of filtering information were completely shattered.

After a dizzying sampler of sensations, I sat at my partner's feet, dazed and flying on endorphins while she stroked my hair. I recall her introducing me to a friend: "This is Kal. She can't talk much yet." At length, she led me to the snack area and plied me with water, ensuring that I had at least somewhat returned to the ordinary plane before we parted ways.

In many cases, the achievement of "headspace" — that sense of entering into an altered state — is a primary goal in BDSM. Sex, in many cases, is not. The echo of tantric traditions can be recognized in BDSM's tendency to elicit sexual energy but then harness it for a use other than physical satiation. Much of BDSM's equipment and practices also mirror shamanic or tribal initiations: at the event, six-foot-tall X-shaped St. Andrew's crosses provided a traditional framework for flagellation, while a huge free-standing structure allowed participants to suspend one another in midair using rope. One of the hands-on workshops addressed safely embedding flesh hooks in the chest to execute an "energy pull" using this structure. For spiritual BDSM practitioners in particular, the use of sexual energy, pain, constricting bondage or fervent servitude is specifically geared toward the achievement of a psychospiritual state well beyond ordinary consciousness. There are no constants for headspace; what it is like and how it is achieved varies from person to person, and often from scene to scene. The exact nature of the state participants aim for also cannot be predicted. Those in the BDSM community acknowledge this and prepare for all possibilities; in BDSM, as in many other spiritual practices, not all altered states are "fun."

I anticipated discovering a rift between those who felt a strong spiritual connection through BDSM practice and those who did not, perhaps unfairly projecting my own history of spiritual separatism. Refreshingly, the community as a whole is keenly aware of the spiritual aspects of play and seems particularly interested in the impact of energy on scenes. It is not unusual for practitioners to choose where to play based on the energy of the scenes around them. At one of the workshops, the presenter led the audience through a group breathing exercise, then asked the audience to move closer to the stage, unable to feel their energies as well as he would have liked. This, I realized, was a community well aware of the unquantifiable forces that impact emotional catharsis.

The insular nature of the event encouraged a freedom of behavior that would have been utterly unthinkable to me just weeks before. The day after my initiation, I volunteered to receive painful stimulation of pressure points as part of a workshop demonstration. I stripped to my underpants, handed my clothing to the stranger sitting beside me for safekeeping, and stood before an audience of 150 to accept the pain. That night, I crossed paths with my partner again, and she led me into further experiments of sensation, driving hooked needles through the skin of my chest, drawing welts upon my back with a singletail whip.

Once it seemed that we had settled back into our ordinary frames of mind, I decided to leave the party at the same time she did. As we walked out into the crisp night air, she questioned whether I was "back" enough to drive. "I'll be fine," I assured her, "just as soon as I find my car." Immediately recognizing this for the red flag that it was, she ordered me back inside for ten more minutes, another snack, and another glass of water. After that, stepping out the same doors, I found my car immediately — right in front of me. I've come to realize that while I can always tell just how drunk I am, I never have any idea how deep into headspace I am or how altered my state has become.

My initiation and ensuing breakthroughs immediately altered my ordinary life. I was quickly cured of a lifelong mild phobia of elevators. "I've taken two needles in my chest," I found myself thinking; "of course I can ride the elevator." The survival of a specific physical challenge drained all the dread out of anticipating an unlikely future ordeal. Learning to process physical discomfort became a direct template for overcoming mental barriers.

The intensity of the many physical ordeals I enjoyed left me flying for a time, then shattered me. Within a few days, I felt a deep, ugly toxin release, similar to the post-chiropractic effect but much more pronounced. Worse, I could not exercise in an attempt to release further endorphins — movement caused too much pain. Then the bruises began to itch. For weeks I barely slept. The energy lingering from my initiation kept me reaching for the notebook beside my bed nearly every hour. "Now I can see that my life would be significantly and immediately different if I were to move," I wrote. "Not the same life in a new location."

My initiation also broke open the shell separating me from the energy necessary to move forward in my life. A day after the event, a friend offered to let me move in with her until I found a place to live nearby. Eight weeks later, I drove a U-Haul 300 miles to her doorstep and took her up on it. A year later, I attended the same annual event that heralded my initiation. With no plan in mind, following the rhythm of that energy I'd discovered, I found myself assisting in a workshop led by the person who had initiated me. We had a hand, perhaps, in the initiation experience of others in the audience. As I continue to explore my own unique path of spirituality, BDSM remains a highly useful tool. I have often noted that every scene teaches me something about myself. It is a constant path of self-exploration.

This path is not an easy one. When I first caught a glimpse of my bruises in the mirror, I was taken aback. I'd seen one too many Lifetime movies about battered women to initially see them as badges of courage and markings of initiation. There are charlatans and inexperienced poseurs, as in any group, and the wide variety of practices embraced by the BDSM community can sometimes make it difficult to find those pursuing it as a spiritual path. A common problem involves substituting BDSM for therapy, especially regarding sexual issues. And for many, the BDSM path is by necessity a clandestine one thanks to the stigma still attached to certain aspects of sexuality. Weathering such intense spiritual work while hiding it can be maddening.

However, BDSM can also offer modern, urban individuals a way to explore the spiritual potential of sexual energy. It is often devoid of the more flowery, aesthetic terminology some people find off-putting in New Age contexts. Generally, BDSM seems concerned with practical, hands-on applications rather than a "buy-in" to any particular methodology, thus allowing practitioners to follow their own paths. The vast majority of BDSM communities welcome newcomers and interested outsiders, making BDSM fairly accessible in urban areas. At its best, BDSM can serve as a kind of lay ministry, breaking down the barrier between sex and spirit that our culture at large still struggles to overcome.

By Kal Cobalt 

http://realitysandwich.com/189/path_pain_spiritual_bdsm/

Read More

BDSM Symbol

Symbols of the BDSM community. On the left, a triskelion; on the right, a Ring of O. (Credit: rationalwiki.org)

As with many other forms of non-normative sexual activity, practitioners within the BDSM lifestyle have adopted or created symbols that represent the BDSM lifestyle. Much like the rainbow flag is used as a symbol of the LGBT movement, the BDSM community use the triskelion[wp] and the Ring of O,[wp] not so much as the symbol of a movement, but more of an identifying feature, thereby allowing practitioners of the BDSM community to meet up without the need to stand in the middle of a crowded pub and shout, "Who's here for the rope-play?"

The triskelion, used in many English speaking countries, needs to be of quite specific design to be recognised as a BDSM symbol, with the outer circle and spokes needing to be of a metallic colour (gold, silver, steel or iron are the most common), the background needs to be a solid colour and the three holes need to be holes, not dots, and are usually edged in the same metal as the circle and spokes. The greasy thumbprint over the whole thing is entirely optional. However, variations of the BDSM symbol do occur where the triskelion is represented by flowers, normally red roses, that have prominent thorns shown as part of the symbol.

The second symbol, the Ring of O, is used more in continental Europe, and is widespread in use throughout the German speaking BDSM community. Very, very loosely based on the ring that the fictitious female character wears in the series of novels "The Story of O," the ring consists of a a large steel ring with an attached smaller ring which can be swivelled. The wearing of the Ring of O can also carry greater symbolism than just identifying the wearer as a member of the BDSM community. When the ring is worn on the left hand it can indicate that the wearer is a top, or dominant, whilst wearing it on the right-hand indicates a bottom, or submissive. In such cases a top would normally wear the ring on the left hand so that his or her right hand isn't wearing a heavy, metal ring that could cause unintentional damage during use, whilst a bottom wears the ring on the right hand to indicate a symbolic binding and surrendering to his or her top. Obviously, this can mean that the symbolism can be reversed for people who are left-handed and so the wearing of the Ring of O can't be used as a reliable guide to a wearer's preference. (Source)

Read More

Send Me Into The Night

https://www.facebook.com/The-Return-of-Dr-Kananga-1240777469271608/

Cambridge University geneticist Aubrey de Grey has famously stated, “The first person to live to be 1,000 years old is certainly alive today …whether they realize it or not, barring accidents and suicide, most people now 40 years or younger can expect to live for centuries.”

Perhaps de Gray is way too optimistic, but plenty of others have joined the search for a virtual fountain of youth. In fact, a growing number of scientists, doctors, geneticists and nanotech experts—many with impeccable academic credentials—are insisting that there is no hard reason why ageing can’t be dramatically slowed or prevented altogether. Not only is it theoretically possible, they argue, but a scientifically achievable goal that can and should be reached in time to benefit those alive today.

“I am working on immortality,” says Michael Rose, a professor of evolutionary biology at the University of California, Irvine, who has achieved breakthrough results extending the lives of fruit flies. “Twenty years ago the idea of postponing aging, let alone reversing it, was weird and off-the-wall. Today there are good reasons for thinking it is fundamentally possible.”

Even the US government finds the field sufficiently promising to fund some of the research. Federal funding for “the biology of ageing”, excluding work on ageing-specific diseases like heart failure and cancer – has been running at about $2.4 billion a year, according to the National Institute of Ageing, part of the National Institutes of Health.

So far, the most intriguing results have been spawned by the genetics labs of bigger universities, where anti-ageing scientists have found ways to extend live spans of a range of organisms—including mammals. But genetic research is not the only field that may hold the key to eternity.

“There are many, many different components of ageing and we are chipping away at all of them,” said Robert Freitas at the Institute for Molecular Manufacturing, a non-profit, nanotech group in Palo Alto, California. “It will take time and, if you put it in terms of the big developments of modern technology, say the telephone, we are still about 10 years off from Alexander Graham Bell shouting to his assistant through that first device. Still, in the near future, say the next two to four decades, the disease of ageing will be cured.”

But not everyone thinks ageing can or should be cured. Some say that humans weren’t meant to live forever, regardless of whether or not we actually can.

“I just don't think [immortality] is possible,” says Sherwin Nuland, a professor of surgery at the Yale School of Medicine. “Aubrey and the others who talk of greatly extending lifespan are oversimplifying the science and just don't understand the magnitude of the task. His plan will not succeed. Were it to do so, it would undermine what it means to be human.”

It’s interesting that Nuland first says he doesn’t think it will work but then adds that if it does, it will undermine humanity. So, which is it? Is it impossible, or are the skeptics just hoping it is?

After all, we already have overpopulation, global warming, limited resources and other issues to deal with, so why compound the problem by adding immortality into the mix.

But anti-ageing enthusiasts argue that as our perspectives change and science and technology advance exponentially, new solutions will emerge. Space colonization, for example, along with dramatically improved resource management, could resolve the concerns associated with long life. They reason that if the Universe goes on seemingly forever—much of it presumably unused—why not populate it?

However, anti-ageing crusaders are coming up against an increasingly influential alliance of bioconservatives who want to restrict research seeking to “unnaturally” prolong life. Some of these individuals were influential in persuading President Bush in 2001 to restrict federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. They oppose the idea of life extension and anti-ageing research on ethical, moral and ecological grounds.

Leon Kass, the former head of Bush's Council on Bioethics, insists that “the finitude of human life is a blessing for every human individual”. Bioethicist Daniel Callahan of the Garrison, New York-based Hastings Centre, agrees: “There is no known social good coming from the conquest of death.”

Maybe they’re right, but then why do we as humans strive so hard to prolong our lives in the first place? Maybe growing old, getting sick and dying is just a natural, inevitable part of the circle of life, and we may as well accept it.

"But it's not inevitable, that's the point," de Grey says. "At the moment, we're stuck with this awful fatalism that we're all going to get old and sick and die painful deaths. There are a 100,000 people dying each day from age-related diseases. We can stop this carnage. It's simply a matter of deciding that's what we should be doing."

One wonders what Methuselah would say about all this.

Posted by Rebecca Sato

http://www.healthbolt.net/2007/07/26/forever-young/
http://www.worldhealth.net/p/the-immortal-question-are-we-on-the-brink-of-living-forever-2006-05-03.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4003063.stm

Posted on March 27, 2009 at 01:00 AM in Medical Research | Permalink | Comments (272)

Read More

ROBOT GIRLFRIENDS ON SALE IN JAPAN

OSAKA-  Robot girlfriends are on sale now in Japan.  Buy two for the price of one!

The Japanese roboticist Hiroshi Ishiguro, from the Intelligent Robotics Laboratory, has created a small surrogate girlfriend for men (and women).  The Japanese roboticist unveiled his creation in April, but it is now on sale everywhere across Japan in Seiyu (Japan’s Wal-Mart).

The android was originally called Geminoid F, but Ishiguro renamed her Chizuko (which means “the child of a thousand storks”) and is also the name of Ishiguro’s first girlfriend who dumped him for a five-foot tall accountant.  Ishiguro programmed Chizuko to call him, “Stud.”

Ishiguro teamed up with Kokoro Co., Ltd. to create the realistic-looking female android says she was modeled after a woman in her twenties. She has long black hair, soft silicone skin, and a set of lifelike teeth that allow her to produce a natural smile.  Here’s Chizuko with her model:

                                                Chizuko with the girl she was modeled after.

When female researchers at Intelligent Robotics Laboratory asked Ishiguro why he didn’t make the female android a thirty-something woman (especially considering Ishiguro is in his late 40s) Ishiguro said, “anybody want some tea?”

Chizuko is friendly, kind, always smiling and only talks when she is asked a question by her “partner” (man or woman). Ishiguro said, “She’d make a great wife for anybody. Many Japanese parents are buying them for their sons.”

The efficient design makes Chizuko easy to produce. She is on sale at Seiyu for 5 million yen (about $50,000) each.  But for this week – and this week only – you can buy one and get one free.  “If you consider how much you spend on a girlfriend over time, it’s a real bargain,”  Ishiguro said.

At a press conference in Osaka, Chizuko spoke to reporters. “It feels great to be alive.  Anybody want a date?”

No doubt it will take time for people to get used to robot girlfriends, but Ishiguro assures everyone that it they are a viable product that he expects to be as big as the iPad. “We’re neurologically hardwired to react to these androids as though they’re human beings. Once you Chizuko walking across a room in her little black dress, you won’t be able to tell the difference between Chizuko and a human female.”

The question on everyone’s mind: can Chizuko have sex?  A grinning Ishiguro said, “You’ll have to buy one and see.”

Ishiguro dispelled rumors that he married Chizuko last week are false. Ishiguro is not a one- android man, he owns twelve of the female androids. “One for each room,” he said.

The female androids will go on sale at Wal-Mart in the U.S. on September 1st.   As per Maria’s question below… Yes, there will be a male version on sale in December.  So save up girls!

Here’s Chizuko when she was introduced to the public in April, 2010.

Read More

I AM A PENCIL

Just as we trust in the Lord in our submission to Him and willingly offer it, a wife who is submissive to her husband is offering a great spiritual gift and doing a great service for both herself and her husband. In Christianity, submission is holy. Even Christ, the Son of God, was submissive to the Lord:

7 In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to the one who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. (Hebrews 5:7)

When God says submit, He means submit completely, because He has a higher purpose in mind for us. When Hagar ran away from Sarah, she was sent back by a divine messenger: Then the Angel of the Lord said to her, "You must go back to your mistress and submit to her mistreatment." (Genesis 16:9) What appears to outsiders to be an "abusive" situation may in fact have a much different meaning; in this case, Hagar needed to return to fulfill her service to the house of Abraham.

The usual method of most churches has been to hold their people by virtue of inbred church-going religious habits, or by holy threats, or by lecture, and musical, or festive entertainments. Dogmatic church members succumb to the influence of parental religious habits, or to a sense of religious fear, or festive religious entertainments, or to a repetition of the same grand theoretical sermons over and over again. Most intellectual people are straying out of the church fold because they do not find any progressive interest there. Huge sums of money are tied up in church edifices just to impress people with the grandeur of architecture, but that is all—scarcely anything more is accomplished. Architectural appeal of comfortable church pews, or sermons of spiritual organs, or big advertising campaigns for drawing large crowds to church festivities, are not producing permanent results, for people do not get any new knowledge in the church, which can sufficiently awaken their interest and spontaneously bring them there. What is the use of making the church members believe in untested dogmas which the minister does not know to be true.

The method of most BDSM communities are held together by their pledges and earn it by trust and swearing:

I give to you ~my body my mind and my soul, I love you, my Master, and cherish every part you take from me, for I give it to you gladly, willingly...

Master, I give you my body,

I give you my body to love to take~ to tease and to use to teach and to punish to watch and to touch Master I give you my body, yours to keep as your own, treasure it, shape it~ make it the perfect body...for you...

Master, I give you my Mind

I give you my mind, so that you may help me to learn and to grow I give you my mind Master, it is yours to tease and to coax... to listen to and to fill ~ to claim and to use I give you my mind Master, to fill with your thoughts and you dreams your hopes and your fears Master,

I give you my mind, it is yours to keep as your own, treasure it, shape it make it the perfect one...for you...

Master I give to you my soul, my very existence for without you I am nothing, Without you Master, I cannot submit myself, therefore, my soul should be lost... Master, I give you my soul for you to keep as your own, treasure it~shape it~ make it the perfect one...for you...

My Master, I give you me I could not give another gift to you that could show you my feelings I submit myself to you Master, so fully...so completely... and so here, begins my submission take me Master, for I am yours..

Read More

BDSM and Christianity

There has been an ongoing debate in the Christian community about whether or not Christians can engage in BDSM (Bondage & Discipline/Dominant – submissive/Sadomasochism) practices without sinning.  Although BDSM can involve literal bondage (being hand-cuffed, tied up, etc.) and discipline (such as verbal chastisement or corporal punishment), it is best understood as a metaphorical relationship between husband and wife and in terms of spiritual submission, which is an important theme in the New Testament. A BDSM relationship between a dominant husband and submissive wife is actually the ideal of marriage set out in Ephesians 5:22-26 taken to its logical conclusion! Let us explain further.

Spiritual Submission - The Ideal of Marriage

Most of us are familiar with this famous scriptural blueprint for a Christian marriage:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, 23 for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 to make her holy, cleansing her in the washing of water by the word. (Ephesians 5:22-26)

The husband and wife who choose to enter into a consensual Dominant/submissive relationship are choosing to fully enact this commandment in their sexual life, a choice that is valid and honorable, and may bring them both deep sexual and spiritual fulfillment. BDSM, practiced responsibly, can be a tool of growth for both partners in a Christian marriage, as it allows them to more fully explore God's plan for spiritual and sexual partnership.

Read More

Agreement

Dominant/submissive relationship requires faithful submission from the sub and loving guidance from the Dom. This type of arrangement is more lenient than a mere husband and wife power exchange because the sub may stipulate limits to the Dom or Dom’s authority. However, this doesn’t mean that a D/s arrangement is any less meaningful.

The D/s relationship is a very popular arrangement which exists in the BDSM lifestyle. It signifies a deep commitment between the parties however the submission is not as intense as a total power exchange. This is because the sub retains the right to govern whichever aspects of his/her life they wish and the right to place limits on play and punishment. In effect, unlike a Master or Mistress, the Dominant is restricted as to what he can do with the sub.

Areas that are Off Limits

Since a submissive has the freedom to make choices in respect of areas which are “off limits” this should be reflected in any document that is signed. The wording doesn’t usually say “the Dominant will not have control over…” or “the girl has the right to control these areas….”. The clauses are typically drafted to sound as though the Dom is empowered rather than being stripped off His powers. So the off-limit areas (don’t confuse this with hard/soft sexual limits) are not usually mentioned at all. Instead, the document stipulates clearly what parts the Dom does have control over. For example “He shall have the ability to control and make decisions with respect to the following aspects of the sub’s life”.

Limiting Control

Of course, drafting the clause in a general sense will give the Dom more flexibility with decision making. For example saying the Dom has the power and responsibility to look after the sub’s health and fitness gives Him a wide scope of control. Under such a clause, he could make the sub train five times a week in intense classes, eat a strict vegetable only diet and punish her if she slips up even a little.

If you don’t wish to give the Dom all decision making power over a certain issue then you can still give Him some control by creating a specific clause which you both agree on from the outset. For example the clause can stipulate that the submissive must participate in two aerobic sessions per week and weight training once per week. This way the sub is still under control but to a lesser and more bearable extent. If you are worried about handing over total control, then the degree of domination must be made clear in your contract.

Play time

A thorough agreement will have limits and safe words, which essentially give subs the power over play. Hard limits are those which the girl/boy will never agree to. This could be anything from anal play to fisting. If a Dom tries something which is listed as a hard limit, this can irreparably break the trust between the parties and may even result in ending the relationship. Soft limits are those activities which the sub is willing to consider engaging in as long as they are warned or enter into a discussion about them beforehand. They can always say no after the warning or discussion. A proper covenant will list and define exactly what each of the hard and soft limits means and what the Dom needs to do/refrain from doing. An alteration clause enables the parties to add/delete limits.

Covenants on safety

As for safe words, a sub will usually have the right to stop play for any reason just by calling out loud a word that is agreed upon. Some covenants have a second safe word to signify that the sub wishes the Dom to reduce or stop the intensity of their actions, but not stop things completely. Unlike subs, some slaves don’t believe in having limits and some even refuse to agree on a safe word. Their rationale is that they trust Master or sir completely and they believe there shouldn’t be any constraints imposed on His or Her ability to take charge. This isn’t the case in D/s contracts because play and methods of punishment are curtailed by the sub from the outset.

Being a sub

Just because subs retain some decision making power doesn’t mean they have less desire to serve than a slave. D/s relationships in no way show lack of commitment or devotion toward Him/Her. They are still a very legitimate BDSM arrangement, one which may even last longer than a normal marriage situation if the wife struggles to give up total power. Either way, you should know your own abilities and boundaries in deciding whether you wish to retain some control or whether you are prepared to submit your whole self. Both ways can be very rewarding; you just need to discuss and negotiate your intentions from the start and sign it into your contract.

Read More